Little did I know when I started this blog that the title would expand, requiring me to ask this question of so many new situations in my life....

Saturday, July 29, 2006

What do pina coladas and Mormons have in common?


Probably nothing, but....somehow, today, they both ended up at my house at the same time. A litte bit embarrassing for me, but not really my fault. It was, of course, my husband, J's, fault. He's the one who asked me to make a pitcher full of the cold, yummy drinks. So....I did.

And....while the blender was doing its thing -- loudly -- the doorbell rang. I didn't hear it. J did. He answered. There were two guys from the Mormon church standing outside saying they were just dropping by to invite us to their services Sunday. (Do you think they knew what I was doing? Or....is wondering something like that a sign of my Southern Baptist upbringing -- aka, guilt?)

Anywho....they were standing on my front porch melting. J invites them in to cool off. (I'm still in the kitchen with the blender.) I didn't pay attention when J came in and fixed two big glasses of icewater. (Those pina coladas need watching, don't cha know?) That's why when I walked out with a pitcher full of the frozen drink I was quite surpried. ....Maybe they thought it was just frozen lemonaid??

I've never been known to think fast on my feet, so I just stood there for a couple of minutes trying to decide whether or not to offer them a glass. Probably best that I didn't. I, of course, figured out who they were at once. I'm not sure if it's because most religions think my neighborhood is in need of saving or what, but we have just about every sect visiting pretty regularly.

They stayed and chatted for a few minutes. Such nice young men. They had just come to BR last week -- one from Nevada and one from Utah.

The only problem I had (other than feeling like a degenerate alcoholic) was trying to figure out why whoever sent them out didn't send water with them.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Biloxi......



which BTW in pronounced: Buh-lux-e. NOT: Buh-LOX-e as so many tv shows seem to do nowadays. ....Where are their fact-checkers?

Anywho....to set the stage, Louisiana and Mississippi have continuing little boarder wars that no one but LA and MS know or care about, so sometimes it's difficult to keep up with what's really going on in MS. (Our local newspaper has a special page [sometimes two if it's been a particularly interesting week] each Saturday devoted to MS news. And....needless to say, it's usually the most unflattering articles they can find to print. What can I say? When you're battling for the last spot on the list for most things that count, it gets competitive.

All that aside, I gather there are big changes coming for the MS coast (which never really had the best beaches). If plans pan out, and it seems as if plans are moving ahead at a fast pace, but if plans pan out, MS will become the biggest gambling destination between Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Ummmm....

Many of us here in Baton Rouge have long thought that the Saints would have a better chance if they were to move to some kind of sports complex on the MS coast where they'd have a draw from the casino crowd in addition to the NOLA folks. That may happen.

However it all plays out, I think the beautiful Gulf Coast I grew up with is in for some big changes -- in addition to the big changes it's already gone through, that is. Finding those little beach-tacky places I love so much is going to become harder and harder. And the many who were displaced from MS are having a hell of a time moving back because of developers buying up land for new casinos and high-rise apts and condos.

What a mess (in so many ways).

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Euthanasia......

The news that a NOLA doctor and two nurses have been arrested for alleged euthanasia after Katrina caught me by surprise this morning. They were charged with second degree murder. What surprised me is....why now? This is old news. Those stories were out there within two weeks after the storm. The nursing home deaths have been dealt with, an animal evacuation plan passed the legislature -- I thought we were through trying to think of things that happened during a time of anarchy as if they had happened during an ordinary day when a city was intact and capable of operating, responding, supporting. There was more than one doctor, so I'm assuming more arrests will be forth coming.

I'm so tired of thinking about all this crap. And I'm ashamed of myself for feeling that way. ....Tomorrow will be better.

But, today's not over. And today we have to go back in time almost a year. Katrina has passed. Hospital generators have flooded. There is no electricity to keep life-supporting machinery operating. There is no food, oxygen, air conditioning, clean water, clean linens. Medical personnel is limited. Water is rising. It has been determined that only the "viable" patients will be evacuated. What do you do. Do you just leave the others to the looters and the gun-wielding criminals breaking into the hospitals looking for drugs?

I know we are on a slippery slope when we deal with things like these. But in a time of lawlessness, can reactions be held to regular legal consequences? I'm not smart enough to answer this. I need to hear some theories and see what agrees with my spirit.

One thing I do know is that it is getting weird down here. Maybe it's because the one year anniversary is fast approaching. But in the past three months a dear friend was beaten to death by his adult son. Another friend had an adult daughter who had moved home with him along with her three small children. Two weeks ago, she came home, got her father's gun and shot herself to death.

I guess all you can say about a disaster is that it's disastrous.

Friday, July 14, 2006

The Quintessential Southern Movie......



I saw it last night: "A Love Song for Bobby Long" (based on the book "Off Magazine Street" by Ronald Everett Capps)

Oh, I luved it! It had allllllll these shots of pre-Katrina New Orleans and it was so beautifully NOLA tacky. It was full of degenerate Southern stereotypes. Did I mention how much I loved it?

Now the question is why did I love it so much. The areas of New Orleans shown were not ones where I would have felt safe. The characters were tragically flawed. I couldn't truly relate to them.

But, in spite of all that, the movie gave me warm-fuzzy feelings. Why do Southerners love people and places that are so monumentally flawed?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Have you ever asked a drag queen for makeup advise......



I have. Years ago.

Back when I was teaching, one of my students was a famous drag queen. Famous in my city -- at least at the university in my city -- fraternities would hire him to show up for parties. And, of course, he worked lots down in New Orleans. But, most of the boring people I hung out with didn't know about him, so the first time he showed up in my reading lab (in full regalia) I was, er, quite surprised??

He was most kind -- and apparantly quite used to reactions like mine. He was also the most beautifully made-up man woman person I've ever met. He dressed tastefully (as a woman -- for class), too. In fact, the couple of times he showed up dressed as a regular dude, it was shocking how plain he was.

I found myself asking him about makeup application, and he had expert advice. He even brought samples to class and attempted to give me some demonstrations -- much to the public disapproval of my supervisor (who actually privately thought it was quite funny -- but asked me if I was out-of-my-mind).

My drag-queen-makeup-mentor was a dear. But, under the surface, there was a vast sadness about him also. He only hinted at some of the things that had happened to him, but a couple of my aides and some other students knew some of the horrific things that had happened in his life. I don't know about other aspects of his life, but I must say that I only hoped I could maintain the grace and dignity (doesn't that sound odd??) that he showed in his interactions with me.

Still....it just isn't fair for a man to be that damn pretty!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Turn the music down -- I can't sleep!


OK....I'll admit it. I listen to 'Coast To Coast AM' (Art Bell, George Noory) on the radio. I'm even a StreamLink member. :) That means, for a nominal monthly fee, I can listen to any archived show 24/7 on my computer. That comes in handy since Coast airs from midnight to 4ish am in my part of the world and, no, I don't stay up and listen live, so to speak.

Anywho....since my husband travels with his job and is away most of the time, Art & George keep me company most nights in my bed. (And they don't even know it!) You see, even tho I don't stay awake to listen to them, I do keep the radio on in my bedroom for company. And that's where my only complaint of the show comes in. They have commercial breaks every 15 minutes or so and the later it gets -- the louder the music seems to get. I guess they are trying to keep people awake. But....what about people like me who are trying to sleep during the show?

I find myself waking in the wee hours fuming at them to 'turn the music down -- I can't sleep!'

Friday, July 07, 2006

Culture, Coaches & Twin Sets......


I heard it the last time LSU was looking for a new football coach, but it didn't really sink in at the time. And for the last month or so, as we have been hunting for a new baseball coach, I've been hearing the same words again. This time around I found myself thinking about what was being said -- which was: There is a different culture down here and we need to find someone who'll not freak out fit in. This is a laid back place -- a very laid back place. Living down here is....different. ....comments of that sort were common.

This time around I found myself listening, reading between the lines, and I knew immediately what they were talking about. They wanted to avoid past fiascos the likes of: The time the prospective coaching candidate arrived (in June) for a look-see and brought his wife along......who was wearing a sweater twin set. A lovely twin set, but....hello! It was June! That twin set was not a pretty sight after an hour or so. The local news sensed the story as she stepped off the plane in the morning and made sure to photograph her alllllllllll day long. To be fair, she had changed clothes by lunchtime, but....the photos spoke for themselves that night on TV. Even tho all the talk was about her husband the coach, all the visuals were of her and her poor self slowly m-e-l-t-i-n-g away. ....Needless to say, he didn't join the coaching staff.

And then there was the poor coach-to-be who almost fainted during the press conference. He had just come inside from inspecting the sports facilities that were outside. They admitted they should have let him cool off a bit longer before putting him before the mikes. ....He didn't come here either.

So, maybe this place has its own uniqueness -- as does every place. You just have to know what you're getting into. So if you're ever offered a job down this way, just remember: go-cups, drive-thru daiquri shops, beads hanging from trees shining in the sun all year round......all normal here. There's even talk of Wal*Mart stores selling daiquris (could that be true! it would be a dangerous combination for me).

But, also remember to stay out of the sun as much as possible, drink plenty of water, and never wear a sweater set before January (or maybe Feburary).

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Nueva Orleans......

That was the headline on the front page of our local Baton Rouge newspaper a couple of weeks ago. And....you can probably imagine what was the talk 'o the town afterwards.

The following article is also interesting.

http://tinyurl.com/7zvbj

Adios, y'all!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Rats and Transvestites......

Which to start with?

Let's go with the rats. :/ The neighbor's cute little nephew with the most precious little snaggle-toothed smile is back. He and his parents had moved back to their home in New Orleans not long ago after months of gutting, cleaning and repairing. (They had stayed with my neighbor after Katrina.}

Well, last week I saw him running down the sidewalk. When he saw me he smiled shyly and said 'hi.' I asked what he was doing back. He answered with one word, "Rats."

My neighbor was right behind him and she just shook her head and repeated the same thing. "Rats," she said.

It seems that even though his parents have cleaned up their house, the neighbors on either side haven't decided what they are going to do. So the houses on both side are just sitting there -- rotting. They haven't even been gutted, and there are huge rats living in and around the houses and they are spilling over to this child's home. He and his family can't even go on the front porch until the rats have been shoo-ed away. The last straw is now that the rats are trying to chew their way inside his house. So, this mom and dad packed up their son and brought him up here where he'll be safe.

It's so sad.





Now....on to the transvestites. Check out this link.

http://www.neworleanscitybusiness.com/uptotheminute.cfm?recid=4912&userID=0&referer=dailyUpdate


In case it doesn't work, I've copied and pasted the article.

Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street
By Richard A. Webster Staff Writer

Robyn Lewis, owner of Dark Charm fashion and accessories for women, represents the first line of defense for the Magazine Street shop owners. She is the first to see them come strutting in their pumps down St. Andrew Street, the bewigged pack of thieves who have plagued the Lower Garden District since May.

“They’re coming,” she warns Eric Ogle a salesman at Vegas, a block down Magazine Street. Ogle, who was terrorized by the brazen crew two months earlier, alerts neighboring Winky’s where manager Kendra Bonga braces for the onslaught.

Soon every shop owner in the 2000 block of Magazine Street has been alerted.

Sarah Celino at Trashy Diva eyes the door, ready to flip the lock at the first sight of the ringleader’s pink jumpsuit and fluorescent red wig.

Down at Turncoats, where the fashion-happy gang once made off with more than $2,000 in merchandise, store manager Wes Davis stands ready.

Davis said it wasn’t supposed to be like this. They survived Hurricane Katrina’s Category 3 winds and the ensuing looters. They reopened despite the long odds of doing business in a devastated city. The last thing the Magazine Street shop owners expected to threaten their survival was a crime ring of transvestites.

“They’re fearless,” said Ogle. “Once they see something they like they won’t stop until they have it. They don’t care, they’ll go to jail. It’s really gotten bad. You know it’s ridiculous when everyone on the block knows who they are.”

Expensive tastes

The transvestites first appeared in March when they raided Magazine Street like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, said Davis, using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.

They first hit Vegas March 31 while Ogle was working.

“They come in groups of three or four. One tries to distract you while the others get the stuff and run out the door. It’s very simple,” Ogle said.

Next door at Winky’s, Bonga heard people screaming inside Vegas, then saw a blur of cheap wigs and masculine legs in designer shoes streak past her door.

“All of a sudden our UPS guy dove out of the store and tried to tackle them and there’s little Eric from next door on the sidewalk with a bunch of stuff he managed to grab from one of the guys,” Bonga said. “The other two guys took off down the street and jumped into a car driven by a real girl.”

Ogle gave police a description of the perpetrators — African-American males ranging in height from 6 feet to 6-5. They all wore the same midriff shirts and wigs with twisted, dreadnaught hair.

“They’re all very skinny and very flamboyant,” Ogle said.

Two hours after the police left, the transvestites returned to Magazine Street to storm Turncoats just a block away from Vegas, and made off with more than $2,000 in merchandise.

“They move like clockwork,” Davis said. “Two thousand dollars is a lot for our store to lose, especially being in the slow summer season. It makes it so I can’t even mark my stuff down as much as I want to because I’m trying to make up for what I lost.”

In the ensuing weeks, the gang of transvestites continued their reign of terror. Sometimes they come dressed as men, though Bonga said it is obvious who they are based on their delicately plucked eyebrows. Sometimes they bring 2-year-old children to add to the level of distraction. They once returned to Vegas holding an “infant” that really was a Cabbage Patch doll wrapped in a blanket.

“They’ll make themselves scarce for a few weeks and then one day you’ll be busy with a customer and all of a sudden there’s a whole slew of them in your store and there’s nothing you can do because you’re there by yourself,” Lewis said.

Scarce evidence

The New Orleans Police Department investigated the Turncoats robbery but unless police catch a shoplifter in the act or in possession of stolen property there is little they can do besides take a report, said NOPD spokeswoman Bambi Hall.

“If store security states that someone took something, and then by the time we apprehend them they don’t have the property, then there’s really nothing we can do because it’s their word against the (suspect),” Hall said.

Lewis said she understands the understaffed NOPD has bigger priorities than to “catch a drag queen running down the street with an armful of clothing.” So the store owners created their own watchdog system unofficially known as the “Drag Queen Alert List,” a comprehensive phone roster of every business on the block with stars next to those who carry guns.

When one shop owner spots a gang member, they immediately warn everyone on the block and raise their defenses in unison.

When they enter Turncoats, Davis said he locks them inside the store, which “freaks them out,” and they leave.

Celino said she doesn’t even wait for them to enter the store.

“A couple weeks ago, a group of them was outside and one looked like the guy who came in here and ripped us off so I locked the door on them,” Celino said. “I know maybe that’s rude, if they really were innocent people, but there’s nothing else we can do. You look like the queens who ripped us off so I’m sorry but I have to lock the door.”

Ogle and Bonga say they regret being forced to resort to such profiling but they feel they have no other choice. The transvestites, Ogle said, appear to be drug-addicted and fearless in their lust for designer shoes, jackets and jewelry.

“The city’s not functioning the way it was and I’m sure a lot of them were getting some kind of government aid, which they probably aren’t getting any more so they’re incredibly desperate,” Ogle said.

And sometimes violent.

When Lewis co-owned Trashy Diva, they attacked one of her partners in the French Quarter location, throwing her to the ground and tossing a heavy mannequin on top of her.

“They’re kind of confused because they think they’re women so they don’t mind hitting women, but they’re dudes. If you get hit by one it’s like getting hit by a dude. ... Because the police are so poorly staffed, we’re kind of on our own but the system we have seems to be working. I haven’t seen them in at least a week but they’ll be back. They’re never gone for long.”•