Well, well, well, my first time to blog. Things move somewhat slowly down south, I guess. Just kidding! I know many of us down here have been blogging away for some time now - just not me. Till now. Better late than never?!?!

All right. My reason for starting this is to try and keep a record of my thoughts and see if I can determine a pattern to these thoughts. I'm gonna come right out and say it - I'm trying to decide whether or not to stay with my husband. Instead of writing a lengthly background (and it would be lengthy because we've been married F-O-R-E-V-E-R (or so it seems) - I'm not good with numbers so I usually just round things off), I'm just going to let things unfold in my daily writings. Odd that I feel this is/will be like a private journal. It will be interesting to see how it goes. If my husband should come across this, I don't think he would be too surprised. So, here goes....

As I write this tonight, we have been outside allll day cleaning out a metal building in our back yard and setting things out for a yard sale tomorrow that J (my husband) wants to have. He wants to have this sale mainly to try and sale the books and stuff of his mom and grandmom that didn't sale in his first garage sale. His grandmom passed away in the late 90's, and his mom died about three years ago. (There's that nunbers thing again.) J inherited their house. His grandmom had lived there for over 40 years and his mom for 10 years or so. They were both packrats so that house was absolutely full of stuff.

J was very close to and felt very responsible for his grandmom and mom. He had a chaotic unbringing. So, when he got the house he didn't want to change anything. He wanted to move there - wanted us to move there, so he said. I don't know if he really wanted to move there or if he just couldn't stand to change things. Long story short, J travels with his job, so the house just set there. I think it would have sat there even if J didn't have to travel. He said he wanted to use it as a vacation house for us and our children. We have four children, three sons and one daughter. Well, that house was so full and so yucky from just sitting there that no one wanted to go there except J.

Oop! I somehow just lost the rest of my post. Oh, well, it was way too long anyway. I'll just quickly recap.

J wouldn't go see about that house, but he wouldn't shut up about trying to make the kids and me feel guilty about us not going up there. So, a little over a year ago, my daughter A, #3 son and I went up to check on it. The icemaker had leaked, there was 3 inches of water in the kitchen, soggy carpet in the den, and mold everywhere - inside drawers and closets - everywhere! The three of us doned gloves and masks and pulled everything out of the house onto the carport. It took us three days and we stayed in a motel. J came up to help after everything was out. Since then we have painted, had the wood floors refinished, updated light fixtures, and other odds and ends. There are still things to do, but we are getting there.

The house has become an ongoing source of irritation. J won't decide to sale, rent, or just let it sit there. I think it is wasteful and ridiculous. We pay over $100 a month for it to just sit there, and we are not wealthy people. It seems as if this will never be setteled. That's why I'm not happy having a yardful of stuff that, for the second time, J is going to try and sale.

I told J that I would not help sale the stuff. It embarrasses me to stand there while people look at stuff that's junky and dirty. #2 and #3 sons are here so maybe they will help out if needed. I don't know if many people will show up on Mother's Day weekend.

My plans are to sleep til I wake (duh!), get up, put on a pot of coffee, and see what happens. Best of luck to him.