Taking stock......

I had no intention of making New Year's resolutions this year -- I rarely do. But.... for some reason I find I cannot resist the requisite year-end life review. I imagine it's because I cannot escape alllllllll the talk about it. It's almost as if it's programmed into us to stop and take stock at certain points in our lives.

So...... here's mine.

I'm beyond a point in my life where I need to move on. I was working on doing this a while back, but Katrina interrupted that plan -- funny how a disaster (even if it only touches the fringes of your life) can play havoc with your plans.

So, here I sit at the beginning of 2007, in the same predicament I've been in for many, many years. One that's not going to change. I've finally realized/accepted that. So, it's time (actually, past time) for me to move on. It's sad, yet necessary.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I'm going to do something by year's end -- that's my deadline. I'm looking into a post-graduate certification program in New York. ....Wouldn't you just know that what I'm looking for is offered in one of the most expensive cities (housing-wise) in the U.S.?

If that program doesn't come through -- and based on my age and the years I've been out of the work place, I wouldn't bet on it happening -- I may just move up there anyway. Is that not the most absurd statement you've heard lately?

When you think about it, it's downright scary what can be done online. Last night I came within a hair's breath of renting an apartment online for three or so months in New York. I've been researching for months now, so I have bookmarks at the ready.

I cannot get this idea out of my mind. Is it mid-life crisis of some kind or is it something I need to do? (One thing I know for sure -- it's not menopause.) ;)

It's almost as if it is someting that I must do, although it makes no sense -- and I realize that. When I try and logic my way out it, the reasons to go seem (to me) to out weigh the reasons to stay. It's like a compulsion.

So, at the beginning of a new year, I sit here with the knowledge that what I feel compelled to do makes little sense -- logically. Yet, for some reason, I feel I must try. If you believe in signs (as I do), I've gotta tell you....the signs are in my face to move on. Trying to ignore them or tell them you'll deal with them later (as I've done for years) isn't working anymore.

So....I'm moving forward one step at a time. I may end up settling for something further down the list, but....for the moment I'm gonna start at the top and work my way down (if necessary).

Stay tuned. It'll be a slow process, unless I decide tonight (or tomorrow night) to click those computer keys that will magically allow (or force, as the case might be) me to wing my way into a new start.