Could it be voodoo?

The story of my ring:

When J and I married I didn't have a wedding ring. He bought a ring for himself, and then found an old dented gold band of his grandmom's to give/loan me. (It didn't matter that it was two sizes too big, and that we didn't even have it resized -- because he knew his grandmom would want it back.) That in itself should have been warning enough to anyone with a gnat's brain to maybe....think twice before proceeding -- wouldn't you think? Well, for several reasons (that I won't belabor here) I took note of what was happening, but went right on ahead.

Let me interrupt these proceedings here to say that J isn't a bad person. He's just incredibly self-centered, spoiled, and selfish (IMHO) -- even more so back in those days. Now, moving right along....

After thinking we could marry in Georgia easier than in Alabama (??!!), and after driving to GA (where we found out how stupid we were we were mistaken, we ended up being married in good ol' AL. So it was that we started married life living in his grandparents house. (This was after we lived separately for a few weeks before deciding to tell our parents we were married.) It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that we were two kids nowhere near ready for marriage, does it?

So it was that I spent the first year of married life with a ring that kept falling off my finger. I still remember how it felt to realize I'd lost his grandmom's ring again. I'd usually find it in a basket of clothes waiting to be folded or in the bottom of a drawer when putting clothes away. Finally, I just gave the frickin' ring back to J's grandmom.

While pregnant with our first child, we decided I should probably have a ring. So we picked out a wide gold band that I wore for the next many, many years. I wore it until a few years ago when, for some reason, my fingers started swelling and my ring would feel uncomfortably tight at times. When that happened I would panic --thinking I would never be able to get the ring off. (Ummmmmmmm I hadn't realized the possible symbolism here.) Anywho....I finally stopped wearing my ring because I was afraid I was going to pull my finger off in my panic to get the damn ring off!

Again, I found mysef not wearing a wedding ring. By this time, it didn't bother me one bit, but....it bothered J. Go figure. So, Christmas 2005 he gave me a diamond -that he bought at Walmart (because, he said, he didn't want to buy anything so expensive that I'd feel bad if I lost it). Okay. Whatever. I don't care where he bought it. It's pretty and I get compliments on it. It's just that he keeps saying how he probably should have bought something bigger and better, but....yada yada yada.

Now, I'm pretty laid back about most things, and if he'd just given me the ring and shut up, there wouldn't have been a problem. It just aggravates me when he says he should have/could have done better. I mean, if he thinks he should have/could have done something differently, why the hell didn't he?! What I hear when he says this is that he thought about spending more but decided I wasn't worth it.

I know him, and I feel fairly certain that he didn't spend more because he's stingy and tight with his money. He'll admit it. No problem. That's who he is. I just wish he'd shut the hell up about it.

Okay. Breathe. Oooooooooommmmmmmmmmm....

Back on point (for anyone staying with this long-winded post). So, now, once again I'm wearing a wedding ring. But....there's a problem. In the darkest night hours, when I'm moving around while in deep sleep, my ring tries to harm me. It started with scratchs that I'd find on my arm in the mornings. Then the scratches became strong enough to wake me up. Last night the ring drew blood.

It has me wondering. Is this ring trying to tell me something about my marriage? And if I don't listen, what will it do next (it's a small diamond -- what the hell could it do)?

Maybe it's nothing more than a loose prong that's scratching me as I toss and turn in my sleep? I dunno....

It's at times like this that you wish Chicken Man was still around to help you out.

here Chicken Man