Waning! New glasses can be hazardous to your health......

So....I went to Target to pick up my new pair of glasses, and by the time I left the store I was afraid to put them on. Let me preface all this by saying that these are only the second pair of glasses I've owned in my life. The optician said that I could still legally drive without glasses -- which I translated to mean that my eye sight was still pretty good. Still and all, she prescribed progressive lenses (which J. says are nothing more than tri-focals).

So....I walk in Target and turn into the optical shop where I'm greeted by a perky, peppy, cutsy, young lady. She seemed so pleased to be able to go to the back and retrieve my glasses. When she returned she looked at my glasses and commented on how cool she thought they were, and then a huge grin came over her face. "Have you ever worn progressives before?" she asked. "Nope," I answered. Upon hearing my answer, an even bigger smile appeared on her face, and she quickly came round her desk to stand right in front of me.

"Okay," she says. "It's going to be a little difficult." (At this point I'm beginnig to wonder -- what the hell??) While still holding my glasses she asks me if I've ever seen little old ladies do this (whereupon she lowers her chin and looks over her own glasses). Oh, yes, I say. (Why I say this I don't know, because I don't know what she's talking about.) "Good," she responds, "because you're going to be doing that too now." !!!!

Next (still holding my glasses, and still seeming very pleased with herself) she tells me I'll probably fall down now and then while getting used to the new glasses. Then (still smiling broadly) she proceeds telling me how she gets calls from people saying they can't get used to the progressive lenses. Then she hands me my glasses. "You keep 'em," I tell her. (She thinks this is hilarious.)

In the end I took the glasses and walked out of the store wondering where I could get my hands on whatever it was she was taking.

BTW, I carefully carried (instead of wearing) my glasses out of the store, for fear of looking like a little old lady who kept falling down....