Little did I know when I started this blog that the title would expand, requiring me to ask this question of so many new situations in my life....

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Up, up, and away......



And so it began. That Saturday in late June when I ran away from home and family -- ran or rather, flew to a place where I could relax, reflect, and think about where it is I want life to take me. ....At least that was one of the things on my agenda. Later, as my agenda overtook me, I realized that to relax, reflect and think I really should have escaped to my lovely Redneck Riviera instead of -- New York City. So....I started another agenda -- to be accomplished at the beach in a month or so. We'll talk about that later.

That Saturday in late June I set off from Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans. I thought it fitting to begin my journey of self-renewal in a city that is trying to do the same. Yes, I thought, everything about this plan of mine has just fallen in place -- pulling me along with it, so the fact that I was to fly out of NOLA was just more proof that what I was doing was meant to be. (Okay. The fact that New Orleans has direct flights to NYC, and Baton Rouge doesn't, did play a part -- but that's on a different realm, so to speak....)

My preparations for this trip were surreal. Each step along the way, as things kept working out, I would tell myself that I was in control and could pull back any time I wanted. The only time I actually thought, I can't do this! was before I sent off my college transcript and the required essay. It's been so long since I've been in school, so long since I've worked, so long since I felt I'd done much of anything, that I really and truly thought my application would be laughed at. But, something pushed me to send off the paperwork. My thinking was -- This is supposed to be a liberal institution. A liberal institution just might be open-minded enough to consider someone like me. We'll see how liberal they really are.

Well, I don't know if my line of reasoning held true or what, but Teachers College (Columbia University's graduate school of education) decided to allow me to attend a seven week intensive course they offered. And....when they say intensive they mean intensive. Sheesh! I think they tried to kill us. There was not a free moment for the entire seven weeks. I still don't know how I made it. But, I did. At least I hope I did. We'll see if that certificate shows up in the mail....

But -- back to that Saturday in late June. Typical of me, I kept thinking, "I don't have to do this if I don't want to. I can change my mind. (And lose one hell of a lot of money in deposits....)." Yes, I kept thinking this as I sublet an apartment. I kept thinking this as I bought my textbooks online. I kept thinking this as I bought a few new suitable clothes and a new suitcase to carry them in. I kept thinking this as I reserved my flight. I kept thinking this untill I told my kids. Then I knew I'd have to go through with it.

So, on that Saturday in late June, all of a sudden panicing and believing I'd been scammed and wouldn't have an apartment waiting to welcome me, and armed with addresses and phone numbers of a couple of hotels I figured I'd try if worse came to worse, J (hubby) and I set off to NOLA. J. knew I was not in a good way (and hadn't been for some time) so he was more or less (mostly less) agreeable to let me have some space.

On that Saturday in late June, I was dropped off in front of Louis Armstrong International Airport -- with luggage I didn't think I could handle, headed for an apartment I was becoming more and more sure every minute wouldn't be there, attempting to mentally prepare for a program I was trying to convince myself wouldn't/couldn't really be that bad.

As it turned out, my beloved New Orleans was waiting to give me the the sign I needed to remind me of how this was supposed to be.

If you'd like to join me on my journey, you're more than welcome to come along as I attempt to chronicle it in my next few posts....

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