Remember Charlie Chan?

Wasn't he the one who talked about his "#1 son?" Anywho....my #1 son (or son #1 -- must be careful since I have three sons!) called last night. Why is that so special you might ask. Well, I haven't talked to him since Christmas Eve when he was preparing to leave for somewhere around Salem, OR. "I'll call for sure on Christmas, Mom," he'd said. Of course, I knew enough not to bet on it, but still....

The whispering in the back of my mind started when we didn't hear from him Christmas or New Year's, but I shushed the voices. And then, when LSU won the national championship and he didn't call, the voices really started their mummering. I'm used to it. I live with it every day. Being out of touch with a child is not normal. There is no peace for a mother who can't account for her brood. If she doesn't know what to rejoice (or worry) about -- what to pray for.

Then, last week when I looked out the bay windows and noticed two police cars by the curb outside my house, I couldn't keep the voices from shouting. Why is it that when we don't know what to worry about we tend to worry about bad things? Finally the cars left and I chided myself for being so foolish. You'd think you would get used to feeling this way after such a long time, but....you don't.

It's been a rocky journey for son #1, his dad, and me. Started out like any eagerly anticipated adventure, but somewhere along the way we all got lost. I'm not sure what happened. I just thank G-d that we seem to be making our way back to each other. I wrote son #1 a letter last year explaining (or trying to) how we as a family felt about him not being around -- not even keeping in touch. How we weren't whole. I was a little hesitant to send it because I didn't want him to take it the wrong way and do something....dangerous....or whatever. But I decided to trust him. The letter made an impact. He called, told me he'd read it and that he would try harder to let us know what was going on in his life. And he has.

So....to quit belaboring the point. He called last night. With his usual explanations -- storms, phones out, traveling. He sounded happy. He's safe. That's all that matters.